


The Perfect Plan

by audreyslove



Series: OQ Happy Endings Week [1]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-09
Updated: 2018-07-09
Packaged: 2019-06-07 19:39:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15226422
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/audreyslove/pseuds/audreyslove
Summary: Written for OQHappyEndingsWeek - Day 1 - Bandit OQ!





	The Perfect Plan

She likes to work alone.  It’s not that she prefers solitude — in fact quite the opposite.  She _craves_ company, finds her desire for companionship to be one of the more annoying qualities she possesses.

But people create danger.  They have hidden motives, they come with a history she doesn’t know, loyalties she cannot possibly understand, morals she does not share.

So despite her undying desire for company, Regina has learned the hard way that it is better to work alone.

Sometimes, though, an opportunity will come across that is too tempting to refuse, that requires an extra set of hands.

This is one of those times.  

Queen Snow is throwing an elaborate costume ball, a decadent, busy event that has company from three kingdoms over attending.  

There are so many guests, so many carriages making their way in those castle walls, and all the knights of the realm will be focused on keeping the ballroom safe for Snow and James.  

It’s the perfect distraction for a heist.  

They will expect thieves and bandits to masquerade in ballroom attire, to sneak into the ball with forged invitations and then steal away into the night.

That’s expected of any costume ball, after all.

But Regina’s plan is more intricate than that.  It involves sneaking into the underground tunnels the idiot guards seem to think are still a “secret”, making their way into the castle as they would any other night, except tonight, there should be far less guards on patrol inside the castle.

It should be far easier to creep inside the castle walls tonight.

And while she prefers to work alone, any heist that involves royalty is too much for one person, so she mentions it to Robin Hood.

To him, because out of all the thieves and bandits, he is the cleverest, the most skilled.

And if she’s being entirely honest, she involved him first because she trusts him more than she trusts anyone else.

And it’s undoubtedly something that will kill her in the end, this blind faith in him that she keeps telling herself to deny, but whenever he speaks to her he seems so _sincere,_ so _good._  

So she picks Robin, tells him of her idea, of the nuance that makes it special — the fact she does _not_ plan to attend the ball, actually, and that excites Robin to no end.

She’s not surprised.  He always likes tricks and twists, he’s never one for the obvious.  

The problem with Robin Hood, however, is that he’s a leader.

A good one at that.

And it’s very frustrating because the moment she involved him he seems intent on leading this expedition.  She did all the planning, specified how many men they needed, obtained an up-to-date sketch of the interior of the castle, and which rooms would contain items worth stealing.

There are many wealthy guest visiting and rooming within the castle walls for this event, yet most of the ladies will be wearing their finest jewels to the event.  It’s not until Robin discovers the castle visitors are attending a more intimate, royal affair that next night that they really consider robbing the other bedchambers as well.

“They are more likely to save their most decadent jewels for a night when you actually know their identities,” Robin had explained.  “I think we ought to consider the guest chambers after all.”

And she gave him that one good idea, and it seemed after that, she was no longer in charge.  

Not that he kicked her out entirely, but he seemed to jump himself up as co-captain.  And it was annoying - annoying, but helpful, because men always have trouble listening to women.

And the other men involved in this heist seem to more easily agree with Robin Hood.

So when he agrees with her, reiterates her plans, she finds there is less resistance.

But it’s frustrating, how easy leadership comes to him, and she finds herself picking arguments with him whenever she can.

Just because.

He seems to love their fighting as much as she does, arguing and fighting until everyone else has awkwardly left the room leaving them to debate alone.

She hates those moments, because she lusts after him so desperately, and it’s so absolutely mortifying to admit even to herself.  She hates that she wants him so badly, fears that he can see through her and _knows_.  

Luckily for her, she finds he returns those unspoken affections.  Because he’s made it clear in body language, words, and action that he’s very pleased with her, with how she looks.

One evening when they had fought he all but grew silent, not answering her with his usual wit, and she found it in herself to ask him what had him so silent.

“I assume you’ve had a stroke of good sense and realized there is no logical counter to my point,” she had quipped, eyebrows raised.

“I must admit I haven’t absorbed most of your argument.  Your button has become undone, milady, and I’ve been entranced ever since.”

She had looked down to her shirt, the ugly garment is indeed unbuttoned, her breasts partially on display.  She remembers worrying she lost ground with him in that moment, because she could feel herself flushing red at his words.

“A gentleman would have made me aware of that fact earlier.”

“I am not a gentleman.”

She knows he doesn’t think himself a gentleman, despite his noble upbringing, despite the respectful way he treats the women of the village.  

She’s safe with him, he’s as close to a gentleman as anyone she’s ever met.

But she prefers to work alone.  She prefers the safety of solitude.  

She doesn’t have to fear any hidden motives or unspoken feelings that way.  

So she had pushed him away that night, as she had so many other nights.  

And her mind wanders back to that night too often. She remembers the way he had looked at her, so wantonly, so desperately, the way he had casually told her she was beautiful as she chastised him for being unprofessional.

She tells herself she dwells on those moments only to assess the man’s weaknesses, in case she might need to exploit them.

Since that night she had only found more opportunities to use his interest in her to her advantage.  She can lean against the table, bracing hands on the edge, so he has a full view down her shirt. He cannot help but steal a glance, and while he ogles she is able to quickly spout out a plan that he will not oppose, not when he’s busy staring at her breasts.

While they argue in private, she grows more bold, asking if he minds if she changes out of her wet clothes.  

He doesn’t get to see much, she’s careful afterall to change behind a curtain.  But she steps out in a tunic that barely goes halfway to her knees and then continues to argue with him.

And Robin’s jaw goes slack as his eyes continually dart downwards, his mind so preoccupied he can only murmur agreements as she hands him parchment mapping out their plan.

He even signs off on it.

Being a woman has so many disadvantages that she is happy to find one way in which it might actually benefit her.  It helps that Robin is safe, that she knows all he will do is gawk. He won’t take her against her will, won’t try to touch and force himself on her no matter how much she teases.  She knows this.

What complicates matters is she gets such a thrill out of teasing him like this it’s starting to affect _her._  Seeing his hungry gaze _does_ things to her, and she has to reign herself in, remind herself that she is just distracting him to win an argument, that’s all this is and nothing more.

She has to remind herself that she doesn’t want anything else from Robin Hood, that she shouldn’t be so flattered by his gaze.

But sadly these reminders do little to get her own mind out of the gutter, to stop thinking about how much she wants him, wants to be with him.

And that’s not good, mixing pleasure with business.

On the night of the heist things work perfectly until the moment they enter the castle through the tunnels and find that King Richard and his wife have complicated things.

The plan has been well thought out.  One of their men has a cousin who works as a black knight, and with too much ale he revealed the plan for security for the night of costume ball.  It was as they expected, heavily armed guards at every entrance to the ballroom, at every window, outside on the balconies, in the corridors. But only a few guards were to be patrolling the castle itself, and most would be up on the castle walls, looking down over everything.  Only two were expected to be guarding the west stairwell, only two guarding the east.

None would be guarding the (not so) secret stairwell found in the library that connects to the King’s study. So they take the tunnel to the library and use those stairs.

They expect free reign of the entire west wing of the castle, but as soon as they peek at the corridors, they find a guard wearing King Richard’s crest walking by.

Then another.

And another.

Shit.

Whispered arguments proceed on what to do, on how to solve this problem, as they watch the pattern of men walking by.

They are, admittedly, not truly doing much patrolling.  They are talking in a clump, distracted and young, passing a jug of something between them, which they suspect is whiskey.

Drunk, young, and distracted.  Easily outwitted.

Robin wants to tie them up, gag them, and continue their easy pillage.

Regina wants to use that as a last resort, preferring to avoid them all together at first.  It’s easy to do.

They argue heatedly in this study, John, Will and Much adding a few pleas that they calm down, that both plans are good, that it doesn’t matter which approach they take, really, they just need to work together.

But it’s too late to stop the force of this battle, there’s too much passion and heat.  And as Robin whispers all his reasons that tying up the men now will be beneficial, Regina finds herself tired of arguing with this man when she knows there is such a simple key to victory.

He’s halfway through explaining that tying them up is the best way to keep everyone safe when Regina grabs his cloak and pulls his lips towards hers.

It’s just a kiss to shut him up.  Just so he will stop fighting her and let her lead.

That’s all it’s supposed to be.

There’s an audience of three rowdy, immature men here, and this is the opposite of a romantic venue. And yet, she cannot stop kissing him.  He moans into it immediately, wraps his arms tightly around her, lets her lead, thank god, for once, but he’s a willing participant in this, kissing her back with passion and fire, using that tongue of his for something interesting, at last.

When she finally breaks out of the kiss, she is smiling and panting, and Robin is doing the same.

She peeps into the corridors again like nothing happened, ignoring the utterly shocked faces of Will, John, and Much.

The three guards are seated on the west wing stairwell, and appear to be playing some sort of drinking game.

Regina turns back and speaks to the men, all of whom are stunned into silence.

“Let’s go.  As I planned it.”

Robin swallows hard and nods.  

But he isn’t thinking clearly, because when he steps out to the corridor, he turns to the right, instead of the left.  Much and John are to be going that way, he is supposed to be with her.

Will is keeping watch over their escape route.

Wasn’t Robin paying attention to her very well-thought out plan?

“This way,” Regina hisses, pulling him towards her.

“Mm, of course milady,” he whispers back.  “Just tell me where to go, and I will follow you.  Anywhere.”

He needs to shut up or they will be caught.

He also needs to shut up because she’s going to kiss him again if he isn’t careful, and the guards are going to find them sweaty and passionate on some King’s bed, and that will really kill the mood.

It’s sheer luck that they aren’t caught.  Because in addition to those extra guards on duty, Regina’s mind is clouded by desire and warm feelings she doesn’t want to place, and Robin is well, utterly useless.

Somehow in every chamber they enter together, she finds a new reason to kiss him.

“Gods do you know how much I’ve dreamed of this?” he murmurs as he gropes at her ass.

“Oh, I have an idea,” she flirts back. “Only a few more rooms to go, come on.”

The heist takes longer than it should and it’s all Robin’s fault and his stupid, kissable mouth.

They never make it to the east wing, as they planned.  But Queen Berengaria was a surprise visitor, and the sheer volume of jewels she had brought with her make up for the treasures they have lost on the east wing.

Still, Will is annoyed.

“How hard is it to find a jewelry box?  Don’t tell me royals are good at finding hiding spots.”

Regina can only look at Robin devilishly as they both try to suppress their laughter.

“Shut up, Will,” John grouses.  “Just let it go.”

“Robin, it’s like your mind stops working around her, we’ve all seen it.  We really should have split you two up,” Will continues to moan.

“We’d have a better shot of stealing every jewel in that castle than splitting them up,” John argues with a smile.  “Now,” He looks at Robin with a knowing little smirk. “Since you two so enjoy _taking your time_ perhaps the three of us should rush ahead to do a security sweep of camp?  To make sure it’s safe to bring such a large bounty there? Regina, I assume you’ll be staying with us?”

Regina is blushing fiercely, but she doesn’t think anyone can see it in the moonlight.

“Please stay,” Robin urges.  “It’s late, and the camp is safe and warm.”

She doesn’t know much about the camp, but she knows Robin, and he is safe, and he is warm.

“It would be best to stay the night with you all. To help protect the jewels until we can distribute and sell them in the morning.” Regina decides.

John makes some sarcastic quip about guarding Robin’s _family jewels_ and even Regina cannot help but laugh.

Maybe she should be embarrassed, them knowing what will most likely happen in Robin’s tent tonight (she’s certainly not going to play coy tonight, they’ve waited too long, flirted for what seems like ages, and a well-planned heist has gone successfully, and she’s brimming with confidence and endorphins).  But she finds no part of her companionship with Robin to be embarrassing, really.

So she stays.

She lets him win a few arguments — the first notable one his impassioned argument that she stay with him at camp, live with them, lead with him, even after the jewels are sold and the heist is finally complete.  

He lets her win most of the time, though he doesn’t have a choice.  Years later, she knows the way to touch and tease him into letting her have anything she desires.

 

He tells her one day that this was his plan all along, from the moment she came to him with the idea for the heist.  That he would join her, woo her, help her to appreciate the strengths of his men, of his camp, that he would let her win every argument because he didn't care about losing to her -- not one bit -- as long as he ultimately could win heraffections for himself.

And, as she snuggles in closer to him, letting his hands rest against her pregnant belly as he whispers how much he loves her, she cannot help but admit, it was quite the perfect plan.


End file.
